Forgiveness

By Cathy Ramsey

 

 

We have all had people in our lives that have hurt us. This includes family members, friends, co-workers, and strangers. These hurts create worry, resentment, the desire to retaliate, sadness, anger, and mourning.

 

My father was a difficult man. He was filled with anger and always seemed to be unhappy about something. He consistently lashed out at our family and anyone involved in his life. In his mind, it seemed like everyone was bad and against him in some way. As a child I feared him and as an adult I avoided him and had negative feelings toward him. Why couldn’t I have a father that loved me like other girls had fathers that loved them?

 

About three years ago, a cousin that I did not know about found me and asked to get together. We met and she told me about my father’s life as a child. His life was so challenging and grueling that he ran away from home at thirteen years of age. I suddenly understood why he was the way he was. After a lot of prayer, I have been able to forgive him, completely and fully. It has lifted a huge burden from me.

 

I have discovered in my spiritual journey that I am a little bit like him. (Heaven help me.) I take offense and get hurt much too easily, get defensive, and say things I sometimes instantly regret or sometimes don’t regret until I have had the opportunity to complain to God about my hurt and seek his guidance. His guidance is always to forgive and forget those that hurt me. I also plead for God’s forgiveness as I know defensiveness is a sin. (I am trying to do better, but change is slow for me.)

 

I have learned that forgiving those that have hurt me is more much of a benefit to me and my soul than it is to those I am forgiving. It releases my anger and hurt and draws me closer to God. I now know that as long as I am carrying resentment or hurt in my heart, I cannot be close to God. Since being close to God brings me the most joy of anything in my life, it doesn’t make sense to carry resentment and hurt. It makes life so much happier and easier to forgive quickly and completely.

 

In the “Good and Beautiful Life” James Bryan Smith says, “Every time we retaliate, we are operating by the narratives of the kingdom of this world. Each time we curse our enemies we are affirming our faith in the narratives of the life without God. When we refuse to freely forgive, we demonstrate our allegiance to the world’s narratives of scarcity and fear. When we hate our enemies, we betray the God who loves his enemies. Conversely, when we pray for and bless those who curse us, we align ourselves with God and his kingdom. We are doing what Jesus did.”

 

The Bible is full of God’s teachings about the importance of forgiveness:

 

Psalm 32:5 – I acknowledge my sin to You, and my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and You forgave the iniquity of my sin.

 

Luke 6:37 – Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

 

Matthew 5:44-45 – I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.

 

Luke 17:4 – If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, “I repent,” you shall forgive him.

 

Psalm 32:1 – Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven; whose sin is covered.

 

1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

 

Psalm 25:18 – Look on my affliction and my pain and forgive all my sins.

 

Romans 4:7 – Blessed are those who lawless deed are forgiven and whose sins are covered.

 

Mark 11:25 – Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.

 

Isaiah 43:18-19 – Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

 

Matthew 18:34-35 – His master was angry and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. So my heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.

 

Forgiveness Prayer:

 

Lord, I pray that You will help me to show mercy to others just as You have shown mercy to me. Help me not be judgmental and condemning of other people. But rather enable me to choose the way of acceptance and forgiveness. I want to forgive others so that I can receive full forgiveness from You and release for my own sins. I pray that You would help other people to forgive me for things I have done toward them whether unintentionally or not. Give me the ability to make things right with people quickly and completely.