By Pat Russell
Today I went into Mother’s room to help her get going. She slept in today (that means she woke up at 6:30 instead of 5:00). She was disturbed. Could not get her brain working; was confused and distraught. Yesterday she had to go the emergency room for a nose bleed that would not quit. At 94, things like that throw a person off in a big way – “disorientation” as Pastor Bruce says.
No matter how it happens, no matter at what age, we enter into these disorienting times often through no fault of our own. Our bodies wear out; our minds get confused; our spirits flag. I ask how is it that my mother who has lived her life focused on Jesus can still have to go through these times. Shouldn’t she be able to rest in the peace that she has learned so much about over the years? Sometimes she can, but then at other times, life is simply too much.
At this point in life, Mother has persevered through the aging process, through the death of her husband, through leaving her home that she and my dad built over many years, through a community of people around her to a more isolated existence, through her children loving her but not with her every minute. Is she moving into godliness? “Godliness,” as Pastor Bruce said, “is standing in awe of God; focused attention on God and not so much yourself.”
This is what my mother tells me about godliness: First of all, she would NEVER think she was becoming more godly – oh no. In fact, she prays that God will help her be who she needs to be so that she won’t inconvenience us. She wakes up early to spend about an hour and a half praying for people and reading the Word. When she reads Scripture she says that it is more real to her every time. Jesus is alive! For some reason, He is more alive now for her than ever in her life. Of course her failing memory allows the freshness of Scripture to come through, but it is something MORE. Her eyes light up when she talks about the fact that Jesus is here now.
This morning she was struggling to get her mind settled and she said to me, “Did we pray? Let’s pray.” So we began that prayer that the Lord taught us. “Our Father who art in heaven….” When we said “Give us this day our daily bread,” she stopped and started thanking God for who He is. She just moaned her prayer at times. And then, at the end of the “official” prayer, she simply started thanking the Lord for dying on the cross for her, for being “dead for a little while” so that He could be with us now.
Well, I will let you think about what it means to persevere into godliness as it relates to my mom’s life -- and to yours. I know what I have seen in these past couple days. Blessings THIS day, Pat
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