By Pat Russell
Do you ever sit in the Sunday service listening to Pastor Bruce wanting to say, “Wait a minute! Can we just stop here and talk about this a bit more?” Often a word or phrase that Pastor Bruce speaks will lodge in my heart and I have to do some more pondering on it. This, I believe is the Spirit speaking to my life.
It happened this past Sunday once again. When Pastor Bruce read and talked about the phrases in Scripture that encouraged joy in suffering, I wanted to have a discussion: “…but we also REJOICE IN our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance…” (Paul). “…whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it NOTHING BUT JOY, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance…” (James).
Sad to say, I have become a “glass half empty” person in the last 10 years of my life. So many things have gone wrong health-wise and dream-wise and relationship-wise that I look around at life and get grumpy not joyful. Yesterday was one of those days – a storm hit my life. I received notice from the radiologist that I have an issue to follow up after my mammogram. I have faced this before and it led to a mastectomy and chemotherapy. Natural response – grumpy – anger, if I am truthful. Here is what I wrote in my journal this morning:
The voices that come up inside me are saying, "Why me again? You must have my life tagged for illness – thanks a lot. I will not on this earth ever be set free to pursue the dreams I have. Waiting again…what if I have cancer? I don’t want to go through treatment again. I must have done this to myself somehow.’”
Not good voices, are they? They are NOT the voice of God. His voice is encouraging and non-accusatory. But I have developed a not-so-good habit of “glass half full,” so these are the voices that come. It is good for me to put them out there in my journal so that I can see them for what they really are.
You can understand why the Holy Spirit drew me with a wooing voice into consideration of Pastor Bruce’s words this past Sunday. As I dwelled on those readings in Scripture and his words concerning them, I contemplated what they mean for me TODAY. I am not really happy about this possible health issue, but I do want to develop perseverance in my life. That means that in the midst of going through this, I have an opportunity to change my habit of suspicion about life into a habit of joy. “Joy – a pervasive and firmly established sense of well being.” (Dallas Willard). I surely do need this. Jesus is with me in this desire. He wants me to participate in the divine nature (Peter), in the fellowship of the Trinity.
Yesterday after getting this news, I went to hang out with the participants at an adult day care center where I volunteer. One of the young ladies who is developmentally delayed kept coming up to me and kissing my head and hugging me and rubbing my shoulders. This was unusual for her. She was like the woman who anointed Jesus’ feet with oil and wiped them with her hair. She did that for me. She was Jesus coming to me in all of my disappointment and fear and saying, “I love you, and if you can always, as it were, feel My pulse beat, you will receive insight that will give you sustaining strength (perseverance). I bore your sins and I wish to carry your burdens. You may take the gift of a light and merry heart, for My love dispels all fear and is a cure for every ill…” (Song of Solomon 2 – Come Away My Beloved by Frances Roberts).
So TODAY, today I choose to develop a new habit of how I regard life. It is actually a habit I knew well as a child. May we all become as little children held in the loving arms of our Father.
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