An Exercise in Remembering

By Brooke Momblow

“I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds. Your ways, God, are holy. What god is as great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.” Psalm 77:11-14 NIV

Retrace the steps of your faith journey and remember. Remember what God has done in your life. What he has done in the lives of others you’ve prayed for. Remember the details. The little things. The big things. The forgotten things. Remember.

Does it cause Awe to rise up in you? Do these memories humble you? Does remembering inspire greater or renewed faith in you? Had you forgotten?

Sitting on an airplane on my way to visit a very dear friend, I paged through my faith journal. I needed to remember. This is where I write down insights or thoughts during my prayers and scripture reading, also prayer requests and the various ways God answers them, dreams and what they might mean, and personal struggles and laments and how God is working through them to transform me. It’s how I remember the Awesomeness and Faithfulness of God in my life. You’d think I couldn’t forget, but I do.

On this day my heart was heavy. My friend had been betrayed in her marriage. Her spouse had not wanted to stop his actions, resulting in their divorce. She was heartbroken. I too, felt betrayed… and heartbroken because my heart had welcomed and loved her husband, accepted him as family. Many were outraged against him on her behalf.

So I turned in my faith journal to read about another time I had felt betrayed. A time God had used to teach me about forgiveness and the ultimate love of desiring another’s right-standing with God instead of demanding a happy fix for the situation. I had written about how upset I was, how it kept me awake until 3 am most nights fighting bitterness, how I could feel God prompting me to pray for them, to forgive them. “Love. Forgive. Pray. Mean it. Believe it.” But I had struggled to do it.

In prayer I had asked for the person to know God’s deep love and passion for them, I had said I forgive even though I couldn’t feel the forgiveness inside me. I hadn’t wanted to pray these things and I had written about that, too. I had been angry and hurt. But God had said to forgive, he had said to love as he loves… Even if nothing ever changes with the person or situation, I am to follow Jesus now, not later. So I had kept praying at 3 am. And my heart had begun to change and with it had come peace and rest.

Years later, the very person I had so reluctantly prayed for, stood before God on my behalf (I can’t help crying now just thinking about it). They prayed blessing over me, prophetic, Spirit led. How can I not be humbled by that turn of events? How can I not be amazed at what God is able to do beyond my greatest hope and imagination?

Reading these things, I remembered the lessons and was reminded to once again put into practice these truths:

• Recognize God’s great love for each of us and practice the many ways he directs us to love like he does.
• God’s words and directions can be trusted. Not for fairytale endings, but for his will to be done in our lives and the lives of others.
• I rejoice in my God and can give thanks in all circumstances.

Because of all this, on the front of my faith journal I wrote a quote: “How could I have forgotten how badly I wanted this? To bow down and rightly worship.” (Ann Voskamp) I want to remember how to live worship.

Next to me on the plane a woman I thought had been sleeping was actually reading my faith journal right along with me. Shocking moments like this are why I want to be so rooted in love that I respond with grace. Jesus knows I need all the grace I can get. She asked if I could recommend a church.

“Listen to me, all you who are serious about right living and committed to seeking God. Ponder the rock from which you were cut, the quarry from which you were dug. Yes, ponder Abraham, your father, and Sarah, who bore you. Think of it! One solitary man when I called him, but once I blessed him, he multiplied. Likewise I, God, will comfort Zion, comfort all her mounds of ruins. I’ll transform her dead ground into Eden, her moonscape into the garden of God, A place filled with exuberance and laughter, thankful voices and melodic songs.” Isaiah 51:1 The Message